Raising a EA daughter

[cm]

I don't. Although I can understand how that suggestion is founded.

When i came to whiter school districts after living in a diverse city school, Asian kids were almost like side kicks to their white friends. It was really sad and pathetic.

The lack of confidence comes from lack of role models. You go to a city, you will see role models in government, at work as doctors. Live in the suburb, who will be your role model?

In the eyes of the Asian community I am probably completely white-washed but I am young and have much time to make that up. This is due to me not learning Cantonese (so I could not communicate on the same level as my extended family members) and my almost mums complete integration into English culture (with the exception of food).
So I did not get much Asian-exposure, other than the occasional trip to Malaysia.

Being white washed has nothing to do with whether you can speak the language. It has to do with whether you accept or reject your heritage. Of course the people on EAN will accept their heritage, for why would they be here in the first place?

Still, there a lot of the EA's here tend to look down upon Asians, and put Whites on the mantle. Criticize an Asian as a FOB, and it's usually okay here. Make a comment about whites, and people here get defensive.

also have an almost subliminal preference to other minorities. Sometimes I'm not even very subtle about it.

Good to see you know who your allies are in a Western country, and not being some white group's side kick Asian friend.

[cm]

Mar 5, 2009 16:41:01 GMT -5 Subuatai said:

I think what Zap is trying to express is the minority crisis. However, 3 levels exist:

1:100 - You are an individual, rarity suits your purposes and people take time to learn about you
1:10 - You are a minority, you are discriminated against, people just think you are scum
1:1 - You are an equal, in status and social recognition

You fall in the 1:100 category, I believe Zap is relating to the 1:10 category. However, this just a rough theory, there are exceptions to this rule as there are to Zap or your rule. Comes down to luck.

For those who wish to make their own luck however. I don't even recommend raising a child in a western country at all to be honest if that can be helped. As much as I wish to say 'hey it was nothing, racism had no effect on me', that's not true. Nowadays as a mature adult sure, I can say that while being stronger, wiser, smarter. But when I was a child? forget it.

Thank you. Somebody in here gets it.

[Miyuki]

Mar 5, 2009 16:41:01 GMT -5 Subuatai said:

For those who wish to make their own luck however. I don't even recommend raising a child in a western country at all to be honest if that can be helped. As much as I wish to say 'hey it was nothing, racism had no effect on me', that's not true. Nowadays as a mature adult sure, I can say that while being stronger, wiser, smarter. But when I was a child? forget it.

Japan is so racist. My EA friends who were raised there had major issues with it. I wouldn't want to raise my kids there for that reason. Maybe other Asian countries are different?

[Miyuki]

Zap, you still sound bitter about your childhood experiences; clearly you had a rough time and I'm sorry for that. To be honest though, you don't come across very friendly with your responses so far and it makes me wonder if not making friends in high school was always to do with racism.

I'm curious, have you spent a lot of time in Asia?

[Subuatai]

Mar 6, 2009 5:25:05 GMT -5 Miyuki said:

Mar 5, 2009 16:41:01 GMT -5 Subuatai said:

For those who wish to make their own luck however. I don't even recommend raising a child in a western country at all to be honest if that can be helped. As much as I wish to say 'hey it was nothing, racism had no effect on me', that's not true. Nowadays as a mature adult sure, I can say that while being stronger, wiser, smarter. But when I was a child? forget it.

Japan is so racist. My EA friends who were raised there had major issues with it. I wouldn't want to raise my kids there for that reason. Maybe other Asian countries are different?

I was in Japan for about five days. I guess that's not long enough for me to examine in a full extent the racial conditions of the country. However, it does seem intermarriages with foreigners do spark rising resentment these days in Japan.

As for which countries are perhaps ideal; I've travelled to Malaysia and Singapore prior to reaching home as well. The Eurasians there have even formed their own little communities, and live in relative harmony with the rest of society. The EAs me and my partner met were quite warm and cheerful. I asked each of them, almost surveying, if they encountered any racial tension with the monoracial majority. They said no, and were even shocked when I told them of EA experiences in Australia.

Prior to my travels I would have said Central Asia is pretty much your best choice (It is Eurasia in a sense). Kazakhstan is a golden example despite the country's poor (but rapidly rising) wealth. If you can get past the Islamic majority and some problems with Kazakh russification (mostly scars from past Soviet-rule) it's really not a bad choice in terms of social environment. BUT...

There is rising resentment (which is rather amusing) due to growing nationalism. On one hand you have those who stand strongly on the cultural tradition to never discriminate someone due to race. On the other hand you have those who say that their ancestors' greatest mistake was intermixing with the local conquered populations of Europe, Middle-East, and Asia -> resulting in the disunited state of central Asians.

As for Malaysia/Singapore... I'm not sure whether the multiracial/multicultural conditions will last but those countries don't really have a nationalist spirit. For Australia/America, it doesn't seem that the social conditions are improving either. On face value people may say "America has a black president now, even though he's only half black he's the sign that America is getting better", however I've heard he gets death threats regularly. And others may say "Australian prime minister Kevin Rudd can speak Mandarin, and his son-in-law is Chinese", however he is considered by the media and many Australians to be a 'Sinophile'.

So in my present opinion, Malaysia/Singapore might be a good choice

[amalgam]

Mar 5, 2009 10:21:38 GMT -5 Subuatai said:

So you have Anglo, Celtic, Sino, Malaijid/Australoid already

My partner rarely goes on the net, which is a good thing. However I still remember she caught me once on another forum and proceeded to go off at me for talking about her in a negative fashion heh

I'm in a country town, my girlfriend lives in Sydney, Baulkam Hills to be exact. We're planning to find a place in Penrith to start our lives together in due time. If we have time sure, would be nice to meet up. We don't really have a shared social circle unfortunately - so it may be a good idea in the future to make one full of EAs.

Awesome, I live in Blacktown! Which country town do you live in? Hmm, you didn't retain your school friends?

Also about your post on Singapore, heck yeah! I met two EA girls their and they were heaps nice and all... Like I said, I can only dream of Australia being like that. :-\

[cm]

Mar 6, 2009 5:45:29 GMT -5 Miyuki said:

Zap, you still sound bitter about your childhood experiences; clearly you had a rough time and I'm sorry for that. To be honest though, you don't come across very friendly with your responses so far and it makes me wonder if not making friends in high school was always to do with racism.

I'm curious, have you spent a lot of time in Asia?

I never said I lacked high school friends. When I transferred to a high school with a significant Asian population, most of my friends were Asian and Mexican. I was popular amongst that crowd.

When I went the the White high school for half a year, I didn't have too many friends.

I don't find my responses 'unfriendly'. They are the truth. Multi-cultural areas are the best places to raise a mix kid. There's no way to spin around it. You can take offense to it if you want, but eve many white parents don't want to raise their kids in an all white environment.

[helles]

@ Miyuki ... +1

[admin]

A parent should raise a child to be able to not just cope, but to succeed in the world at large. Sheltering a mixed-race child from an 'all white' school or neighborhood may save some teasing in the short term, but hurts that child's chance to grow up and learn how to deal with that kind of pressure. I know plenty of Asian and mixed-Asian kids who grew up in all-white environments, and others who now live and work in the same. If you want to be in the US Senate, you're going to have to learn how to deal with white people! The same if you are wealthy and join a country club, or if you send your kid to the best private schools (which are often almost all white), if you sit on a corporate board, if you go in front of venture capitalists, etc. The fact is that white people, like it or not, are part of our reality and you would be best to teach your kid how to deal with them, especially as the ONLY minority in the group. At worst, you'll fail, but at least your tried - maybe better parenting skills would help or the kid just doesn't have the personality to cope and succeed. At best, however, you will teach your child how to overcome that kind of pressure, ridicule, and hostility by making friends and impressing people with your good nature, strength, and friendliness.

[cm]

Mar 6, 2009 13:21:00 GMT -5 admin said:

A parent should raise a child to be able to not just cope, but to succeed in the world at large. Sheltering a mixed-race child from an 'all white' school or neighborhood may save some teasing in the short term, but hurts that child's chance to grow up and learn how to deal with that kind of pressure. I know plenty of Asian and mixed-Asian kids who grew up in all-white environments, and others who now live and work in the same. If you want to be in the US Senate, you're going to have to learn how to deal with white people! The same if you are wealthy and join a country club, or if you send your kid to the best private schools (which are often almost all white), if you sit on a corporate board, if you go in front of venture capitalists, etc. The fact is that white people, like it or not, are part of our reality and you would be best to teach your kid how to deal with them, especially as the ONLY minority in the group. At worst, you'll fail, but at least your tried - maybe better parenting skills would help or the kid just doesn't have the personality to cope and succeed. At best, however, you will teach your child how to overcome that kind of pressure, ridicule, and hostility by making friends and impressing people with your good nature, strength, and friendliness.

President Obama went to school in Hawaii, 2 years in college in Los Angeles, 2 years in Columbia in New York City, years dealing with poor African Americans in Chicago, law school at harvard (which has a diverse student body) where he met his right hand man who is Chinese, has a cabinet with 4 Asians, African American as attorney general, and a White woman as secretary of state, and a brown skinned Israeli Jew as his Karl Rove.


I'm sorry, I don't see how being ridiculed and scorn helps your kid.

[Subuatai]

Mar 6, 2009 9:22:09 GMT -5 @amalgam said:

Mar 5, 2009 10:21:38 GMT -5 Subuatai said:

So you have Anglo, Celtic, Sino, Malaijid/Australoid already

My partner rarely goes on the net, which is a good thing. However I still remember she caught me once on another forum and proceeded to go off at me for talking about her in a negative fashion heh

I'm in a country town, my girlfriend lives in Sydney, Baulkam Hills to be exact. We're planning to find a place in Penrith to start our lives together in due time. If we have time sure, would be nice to meet up. We don't really have a shared social circle unfortunately - so it may be a good idea in the future to make one full of EAs.

Awesome, I live in Blacktown! Which country town do you live in? Hmm, you didn't retain your school friends?

Also about your post on Singapore, heck yeah! I met two EA girls their and they were heaps nice and all... Like I said, I can only dream of Australia being like that. :-\

Blue Mountains mate, about 2 hrs from Sydney by train, 1.5 hrs by car. School friends? I left them behind back in Perth I didn't really grow up amongst one circle of friends, ended up with many. Whom I've mostly forgotten about unfortunately heh.

Yeah Singapore was nice. It really slapped whatever is left of 'aussie pride' out of me. It's completely unsuitable to claim "Australia is the best multicultural country in the world" when Singapore is fifty years ahead of us.

So many races live together with no friction, no one forms territories unlike in Sydney, and even more embarrassing everyone can speak 2-3+ languages at least. Here in Australia, if you don't speak English, you are a Wog/Fob etc. and should get out of the country. Pffft, shameless.

[amalgam]

Blue Mountains! Wow... how often do you see your girlfriend? Hmm by the way, 40% of Singapores labour workforce are foreign apparently so, you wouldn't need a uni degree to live/work there.

I love Singapore, been there twice, remembered it the last time (since I was probably 5 years old the first time I went) and it was absolutely awesome, I'd love to live/work there actuallly. It's true how like, Australia isn't that great once you've opened your eyes to the different worlds out there aye?

[Subuatai]

Heh we try to see each other at least once every week. We're planning to move in together soon however in Penrith. As for the Singaporean workforce - competition is very high. To live comfortably you will need a uni degree or some sort of specialised skill. My cousin works there so she knows

As for Australia, yup. Normally I wouldn't be this pissed just because Singapore promotes multiculturalism so much better, but to think I actually BELIEVED in Aussie propaganda that "We are the best, we are number one!" Pffft, that's what I'm mostly pissed about.

[amalgam]

Haha yeah but like, now that we know... It's like, how promoted we are as tough, generous, fair, kind, friendly... like, what the heck? I've seen plenty of 'Australians' who are most certainly un-Australian. I think it's like, the ideals of being an Australian are great, but too bad the majority of the population of 'Aussies' live in a completely opposite way.

By the way, are you and your girlfriend going to like, get married some time soon?

[cm]

You guys are making Singapore sound like an oasis for mixed race people.